don't you dare cross me.

i'll lock you in my ribcage and throw away the skeleton key.

it's amazing.

this painful, aching beating in my insides is a pseudo-heart beat. i almost feel normal.

confession.

every time i see you my insides twist and there's a snow storm in my head and i feel light and i feel whole and my insides pound through the pa and i get so overwhelmed i almost faint. but you'll never know. i'll never tell you. the best way to not get your heart broken is to pretend you don't have one.

truth is, i love the way we try to act like we don't know.

embers a flame in golden december.

this lullaby has gotten the best of us. the doctor told me i had forgotten who i was and i told him not to worry, for i never really knew who i was. achy bones make for salted excuses. i agree with you. everyone glows, i'm just dimmer than the rest of the world. i can't follow my dreams anymore, they put a restraining order against me. intelligence is overrated. words are the obsession. i can't stop trying to analyze myself. speaking profoundly is like a drug to me. can't stop. i don't do it for you. actually, i do the opposite for you. you'll never understand me, but that's okay. me either.

"i'd promise you anything for another shot at life."

that is all.

consigning my insides to your concious lies.

my heart can be found at the bottom of your shoe. i know what you're thinking. i didn't know i ever had one either.

dedicated to midtown.

encapsulate the hate.
my wait always comes in late.
we are the last to show and the first to go.
at last we hear the whistle blow.
wherever we may roam,
we will always know it's easier when no place feels like home.

cheers.

here’s to you and me. we’re one in the same. keep your head up and your heart light. i’ll always be here for you. hidden behind hours and miles that seem millenniums. it’s okay. you come here often. not just in my thoughts or my heart. i get it. you, rather. engrave these words in your hands. you could never let me down. i’m not like them. i’ll never come close to giving up on you. i’ll forever be your forever kid. let’s play make believe. let’s pretend you can go back in time and send yourself a message. to what would the content be?

poor girl.

thought the world was her personal play ground. he showed her it was the real deal.

dancing under your sheet to the sound of this beat.

lost myself at the worst place yesterday. the rest of me couldn't enjoy itself. emotionless. i don't really have any words. not sure what to do either. kind of lost the life i used to lead. i think i was heading towards setting it on fire. but it just kind of combusted. it didn't even make noise. it just. depleted. miss it. miss it all. hate the fall. no, not the season.

i know this makes no sense to you but i needed a relief.
and no.
it didn't work.

the only heart i ever knew was the one in the card deck.

can't remember what the old life was.
don't know if i want to.

footsteps on my back.
bury me in this guilt.

i miss escaping from my brain, knowing i had a heart to lend.
i miss dancing in the rain, knowing tomorrow was my best friend.

starry eyes and electric thighs.

burnin' cells.
love sells.

"it's a game of this or that, now versus then."

today i let the shower boil me red. wanted to feel something other than nostaglia.

is it odd that you're helping me get over you?

i'm burning everything i ever believed in and i have your name engraved on a matchbox.

i renewed my hope at the library.

the surreal truth surrounds you. the country is at new. bear trap for a heart. backfired. stuck. house of broken hearts are for gilded ghosts. jack pushed jill off the hill. attention is drawn on a canvas. hijack my imagination. my mood rises and falls like the stock market. (good) riddance yourself of love before it's too late. the floor is dying to be the walls. i'm just dying to be in your head. i don't think you ever even cared about me or this old abandoned town. it only rains inside my umbrella anymore. i wish you were as stable as a boomerang. sharp eyes and rebounded thighs. your love will flow through the skies. how am i supposed to breathe when you keep leaving me breathless?

"you only think i am the devil because i have been to hell. i want to get out."

you're clinically proven to cause a car crash.

observe. smiling train wrecks sleep on the left side. gallop carelessly through fields of worry, laughing along the way. socially broken. heart beat matches the bpm. i love the way the sun shines in your head. internal hurricanes. watch the world from an audience's point of view rather a visitor's. wrestle with your conscience. revolutionary eyes. pretending to be you pretending to be him. egos the size of texas. negotiating with father time. locked hearts and docked hips. so sick and tired of being missing. can't help it. so sick and tired of walking on walls. losers never get (s)old. cut me open and auction off my insides-i'd give you my heart if you didn't already have it. accidental sunsets. metallic assumptions. soothing disasters. don't you dare find me-i wouldn't know how to thank you.

forgot how to breathe.

agonizing your town, leaving you to drown. i feel like if i died right now, everyone would smile. you hate me? oh, me too. how ironic. i feel like a fish in a fish tank. being watched and not free. i can feel you swimming in my veins. my heart is vintage and used, you don't want it. one day, romeo will get tired and leave juliet. but not before throwing her off the balcony. fingers crossed, but really not. believing in you is oh so cliche. nostalgic for the ships at sea.

if i screamed every time i thought of you, they'd lock me up in a loony bin.

broken mirrors and relfective eyes.
burn the bridges, cut the ties.

what do i look like? the wizard of oz? you need a heart? go ahead, take mine! take everything i have.

ignite my heart.
you're just fuel to the fire.

and the lamb said to the wolf, "why can't we just be friends?"

feelin' like an accident.
feelin' like a catastrophe.
feelin' like no feelin' at all.

i want to open the window and scream at the stars.
'why, oh, why can't i keep you in my pocket?'

did you know that my smile isn't really a smile?
it's as fake as a death sentence.

if i know anything at all, it's that i don't know anything at all.

love never wanted me.

empty faces leave with no traces.
now that my heart is broken,
my head has woken.
now i can see that your love just isn't for me.
ground is collapsing, mind is relapsing.
lost everything for you.
my mind too.

live for yourself, die for everyone else.

you've got me all wrong, but at least you've got me. will you ever remember to forget me? minds weave intricate webs, much like spiders. my heart ticks with the clock. timebomb. railroad tracks on my back. crushed my bones, broke my heart. not the train. you. hello devastation, my old friend. you're just dying to be tragic. crossed fingers, crossed veins. sunshine across the rain. bear for a heart. ruthless and vicious. did it just growl? oh, that was my stomach. you can't really drive someone insane if you can't afford gas.

there's nothing in my chest. no heart, no treasure. it's empty.

spitting images. he is the sparkle in the stars and the (un)steady beat in my insides. last night i wished i was good enough for you. whatever happened to wishing for a heart? and a brain? and courage? pieces in. pieces in. peace is in. 'til death do us part. or when you find something better. whichever comes first. who wore it best, the queen or the clam? i'm simply a complex person. the dog ate my excuse. i am real. on the real. i don't quite remember the times we've shared, but can we share the rest of our time?

i see you every time i close my eyes.

tonight i'm taping my eyes open.
the faint taste of your bittersweet words on my tongue.
i'm better off without you.
or at least so i'd like to think.
dawn breaks through the blinds and boy, does it blind.
i have a rose in my chest and the thorns are killer.
jello for insides. brain like an AK-47.
i've seen the world through hazy eyes and i've seen the world through clear.
take my word for it, hazy is best.
give up on me.
i wish you would.

we have arrived.

the corruption is hidden.
don't trust anyone.
if you look long enough at peace,
you'll find war.
just like the frayed ends of a sweater.
the sweater looks promising,
but under the miscroscope,
it's just thread.
and that's all it will ever be.
you say, "sometimes betterment just means more refined mayhem."
well, you're correct.
while the world looks at peace,
it's really crumbling.
they hide it from you.
they want you to believe that everything is okay.
well it's not.
why keep us blinded by lies and put us in danger?
we are the people and we want the truth.
we deserve the truth.
we will not stand for this much longer.

i'm used to being used.

sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and you're the fuel.
we are the kids who aren't exactly kids.
what makes temptation so tempting?
society is crumbling as we know it.
take a dose of stability.
now wait three years for it to digest.
we're all on the highway that is called life.
it used to be a bright, warm road trip.
now look.
we're all parked on the side of the road.
stuck.
wasting.
not enough money for gas.