In due time.

Walk with me side by side
down this path of lies
And don't be surprised
when you find yourself
handing me your pride
I'll crush it and crush it
and send it away with the tide.

And if you don't think
You'll be capable
of handing over your key organ
Guess again, my friend.
What does it mean to be in love, you ask
Tell me now with your heart of ash.

I am a monster.
I'll take your soul,
I'll eat you whole.
Without even batting a lash.

I'm back. I think.

i like thinking that this part of me remains unknown by the world. A box left unopened. A light hidden under a blanket. I like to think what would ever happen if the light overheated and burnt down my house. what would it mean to me? a simple release? what would it mean to others? the end? a reminder? nothing?

bomb threat the other day. i wondered what it be like if my arms and legs parted with the rest of me. would i finally be free of worrying of you? i'll admit that was my first thought. And immediately after came this: No. I'd sit on my cloud and watch over you.

I hope you know the ditress you've caused me. Restlessness beyond the grave.

But know this and this alone.

If you lead a happy life full of smiles and good health,

it will all have been worth it.

"and i just can't live without you, can't you see it in my eyes?"

nothing means a damn thing to me anymore.
not this town.
not their thoughts.
not following dreams.
i just want to be okay again.

honey, we don't look so good on paper, but you're the only truth i've ever known.

so i lied.

i love you because you're you. it's just that simple. your eyes your smile your dimples. oh you make me trip over thin air and i don't even care to get up without you there.

i always feel overwhelmed when you're around. sometimes i think you're too much when you make my heart pound but you're just enough. being around you is tough when i don't know where my heart is but then when you're away i remember "oh it's his."

who promised me tomorrow and why did i believe with no questions asked? oh no. tomorrow isn't promised and if everything i've ever wanted to say, everything i ever wanted to do, all the opportunies missed and lips left unkissed were never talked about, i wouldn't be able to live with myself, no doubt.

i'm so caught up with you that i forget to say what i need to before six feet under we're due.

on that note,
i just wanted to share
that you make me forget all of my cares
and you are my everything
and when i see you, my heart starts to sing.
i could almost swim in your honey-browns
and i want to scream your name all through this town
you have your flaws and i have mine
and i forgot to tell you that i love your flaws just fine
you're living proof that everything is beatiful
and life with you could never ever be dull.
you are the world's seventh wonder
and you make me want to dive right in headfirst and
go right under.
you've made your mistakes and i've made some too
but that could never ever change the fact that i've fallen hopelessly head over heels for you.

please just say you love me too.

i only love you 'cause i can't have you.

you are the rhythm in the rhyme.
the undeniable passing of time.

you may wear your heart on your sleeve but it's only lies that you weave.

at point blank range
you're on the fence
borderline derranged.

there's a fire in this house but it's not one you can just douse.

i think you're it but i'm not quite ready to commit give me a number to dial and i'll sign up for a free trial and drop you like last season's dress when you cease to impress you're so out of style it's okay i'll send you back with free shipping all the while you're heart is ripping you're like a record that just keeps skipping i want it to work but i just can't catch the quirk see you soon or hopefully not you're companionship let's just say will never be sought it's you i love it's you i like syke more like take a hike you think i'm at your beck and call but really i'll never be there for you not ever not at all.
truth is without you a piece of me would die.
trush is that is a complete and utter lie.

god bless the goodbye.

ALERT:

it's not the end of the world.
you are everything to me.
i complain and complain about how terrible it is to know you but the truth is i don't know how i'd be without you.

& then i woke up comma you said you love me.


you are a legend.

&

you make me feel like.

i'm not.

the words are too concrete too official. i love you like i love the scars on my insides. but that's what you are, a scar. some people want you away but i will never be more proud of you.

the opposite of beauty is science.

the original fake. think long and hard of all the mistakes you make. bring back tomorrow in a year or two. bring back the past today and earn a tear or two.

stuck in my childhood memories.
merry-go-round lockdown.
sanity shakedown.
this week's breakdown.

you think you've got your best poker face on but there's not a heart in your deck i'm callin your bluff. you fade in my head faster than secondhand smoke and one-way mirrors. lie detector. everyone always makes promises just to break promises. you are my picture of dorian gray. i bet it all on crooked smiles and honey browns and was left with nothin but an IOU. & i realized as i said goodbye that you've got so much potential. they tell me to walk my own paths make my own trails but i can't keep my feet on the ground long enough to shake some gravel.

i'm leasing out space in my heart and you didn't even show up to open house.

heart like a hammer.

what's your name, sweetheart? this town will make you sweat. you know i love you when i'll give up heaven for you. let's make mountains collide again. let's make wobbly knees cool again. meet me at midnight and let's fall in love again. up all night. sleep all day. anyone who walks in my house can see your shadows traced on the wall. it's a curse. i'll hold your hand long after my heart stops beating. diamonds don't mean a thing to me but vows don't sound so bad right now. at one time, we were both faithless kids in love with everything but eachother. we'll never have a chance except in my head. four AM screams your name. i wonder if they love you even close to what i do. wonder what you did to deserve my love. if they cut off your ear i would start a war alone. needle and thread aint bad but im getting tired of cleaning up after you. why don't you do it yourself. come on give it the ole college try. come on kick off your shoes and stay awhile except you won't. when i told you crying on bathroom floors isn't fun i meant it. praying for a trade. your sins your mistakes but take my soul instead. too bad my death would be easier for me than yours.
i find humor in the fact that the world wil only listen to a manic.

we're all in love.
we're all hypocrites.

the opposite of perfection is happiness.

play.

why beat a dead horse? believing in people is stupid when it's a person like you but there's no other way to go.

pause. rewind.

you're the disease inside of me.
you saved my heart but took my mind.

delete.

someone get the canvas, i'm drawing a blank.

and i only want to know what happens when the preacher forgets his lines.

smilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmile

let me be selfish for one instant. i don't care about them or their stupid wants. you're like a pretty doormat to them. why won't you rebel? why must you frustrate me so? i don't understand why you must harm yourself to comply to their wishes. or is this even about them? are you just into pain nowadays? or maybe you've always been that way. i don't care. you'll soon learnmy selfishness is always an addition to your personal earn.

myworstfearsareinmyclosetwallihatethis.

no edit. edit: the before statement is false.

introduction.
i don't want your sympathy. everywhere i go i hear the buzzing. the voices in my head that split my mind at the core.

"there is she, the clumsy one who falls so easily.
she must be blind, for she doesn't see that everyone that loved him was simply born a causality.
she musn't hear us chant behind her, for this mockery would surely unwind her.
the ultimate epitome of hypocracy.
she often wonders what we think of her but she'll never know for sure.
we are the whipsers in the trees,
the soft howling in the constant breeze.
she doesn't know that we watch her as we please.
she doesn't know we watch her scream, falling to her knees. no, she'll never know.
what a show, what a show."
end scene.

did i really just say that?

lies are for liars and love is for lovers.
i am simply a hope-free tragedy of this conformability.
but it's not really hope-free, it's hopeless.
at the top of my lungs, i am singing your least favorite song in your open window.
but baby baby baby,
haven't you ever heard?
you've gotta gotta stard at the bottom to get to the top.
baby, baby, please.
just press stop.

and

i've only been wanting to be put out for so long.

die on your knees so everyone will remember the way you lived to please.

i have to fight for what i believe in daily.
stand up for it.

you're all i believe in.

stay tuned.

"but home is an idea, not a place."

"home is found where the heart is."

i think if you somehow combine these,
you'll have the secret of the world.

29.

i can't handle living with you knowing,
but i utterely refuse to die without you knowing.

and they say,

"son, you have two choices. you can commit mutiny against your beloved captain, or you can sink the ship. either way, you're going down."

this beat is my manifesto.

do you know what humors me the most? when people hate me. it makes me want to "split my sides and die laughing." do you know why? because i am you. and you. and you. and especially you.
i am merely a product of all of your fears, strengths, and weaknesses.
i mirror you.
you'll never notice.
i am a thief.
i steal pieces of every ones puzzle and cut them and slice them 'til they fit together perfectly.
by hating me, you are revealing only of your insecurities.
good day.